It's Sunday afternoon, and I'm back in College Station, Texas, sitting at my favorite coffee shop, on my favorite couch at Sweet Eugene's, dwelling on my 6 1/2 weeks at The Living Vine in Savannah, GA. If there's one thing that rang true throughout my time there it was this: there is work to be done. For a few? For the called? Only on the other side of the world? No, for us all. We are all called. There's work to be done right where we are. This world is broken. Everywhere. If we take the time to dig, to listen, to really listen, it's painful, and it's right in front of us. There's no easy button to press, or amount of money to give that can turn this world away from the path we set down a long time ago. But what we can offer is a hope. A hope of something better in Christ. We, as believers and followers of Christ hold the knowledge to a life that is still full of pain, but a life that can be lived with a source of strength that will never fail.
The girls at the Vine so often come in through our doors not having known love growing up, but having known abuse. They come in unknowingly with a mindset that Satan has sewn in deception and lies and fear beyond anything I can comprehend. The first step is to make them feel safe within the walls of the Vine. To be any kind of open to truth, they have to first take a tiny step away from their "survivor" mindset, and into a mindset where they can allow themselves to heal and grow emotionally.
A few days before my flight was scheduled to take me away from the Vine I was emotionally overwhelmed. Nellie was scheduled to have a C-section Thursday morning July 3rd, Racquel's baby girl Bella hadn't come yet, and our new resident Jen had really taken to me but was all over the place in mind and spirit. I was not feeling anywhere near ready to go, and just felt like I was about to pack up and walk out of these girl's lives in the middle of crazy times for them. Wow, did the Lord have a gift (more than one!) in store for me. Nellie had her baby girl Thursday morning at 11:30am and she is alive, praise Jesus she is alive! I sent out a quick e-mail asking for immediate prayer for her 1lb 5oz little girl Journey who came to be in this world 3 months early. Quick update on her: she has gained an ounce! That doesn't sound like much, but it's a big deal. Mama Nellie got to hold her this past week for the first time. She's going to be with Journey every day and they are making skin to skin contact a big part of the healing process. Journey will be in the NICU most likely until her original due date in early October as she continues to develop in the NICU as she would have in the womb. This baby girl is no doubt a miracle! Many tears and prayers were poured over sweet Journey, and she is clear evidence of the Lord's faithfulness. It is my prayer that Nellie will always be able to lean on the magnitude of this event in her life, and that she can grow to trust our Father more and more. Here is the picture I sent out asking for prayer, baby Journey, 1 day old:
Friday morning July 4th at 9:37am, I received the best phone call- Racquel delivered her baby girl with no complications and hardly any pain! She weighed in at 7lbs 3oz, and was beautiful. This was about the best going away present I possibly could have asked for! To get to see Racquel to the end of her time at the Vine was amazing. It was the closest thing to closure for my time there. I got to visit her that night, and hold baby Bella in my arms. She's got quite the head of hair too!
In other news I promised pictures from my experience with the simulator baby. I named her Abigail Elise, and this little 9 pounder gave me a run for my money. I swear they programmed her to be a Colic baby. Woke me up 5 times the first night, 11 times the second night, and 13 times, that's right, 13 times the third night. I broke into tears at 5:30am on night 3. Haha, let's just say having a baby is not in my immediate future. Here's Abigail and I on (top) the first morning, both of us feeling hopeful, and (bottom) the middle of my last night with her. It was just too good not to share. Raising a child is no joke.
My naive, "dive-in" to the simulator baby self was humbled quite quickly. I do have to say I came out with a passing grade of 97% though! I'm still bitter about the time in the middle of the night when I lost that 3% though.. I had to buy one of the other summer missionaries a sonic drink because she ended up with 100%. (Her baby slept all the way through the night!) I'm not bitter...
In all seriousness though, I am 21 years old and caring for this baby for 3 days was one of the toughest, most exhausting things I've done so far, and there are 2 brand new 16 year old mothers in Georgia as of this last month. It was a crazy mix of emotions watching this 16 year old girl who I'd gotten to know- the good and the bad- for the last month and a half holding her newborn baby girl in a hospital bed. That little Bella will forever look up to her Mom for guidance, love, and support, and that Mom is just barely dipping her toes into figuring out who she is herself.
My chapter at the Vine has come to a close, but it will forever be etched into who I am, the way I view people, and the way I approach ministry. I long to hear the words "Well done, My good and faithful servant" come out of the mouth of the one who created me. My actions and work for His Kingdom are not limited to my chapter at the Vine, and I am well aware of that and the pain that is so deeply rooted into our culture and the lives of the lost around us. So, my charge and prayer for you is that you may be sensitive to, broken by, and charged by the needs that surround you on a daily basis. Put a face and a name to our generalized grouping of "the lost," and "the broken." Take time and intertwine their lived to yours, so that they may come to know the deepest well of satisfaction, love, and strength that is offered in this world. There is work to be done my friends.
Love you all, thanks for taking this journey with me,
|| Nicole Bartley ||
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