Here's my goal: post a blog three times a week. Let's be real though-- It's more than possible I won't always have something profound to say. We'll see what happens.
I am laying in my beautiful green and blue bedroom, with clean sheets, and a fan blowing on me from above. It's wonderful to be home for longer than 24 hours. I enjoyed a wonderful car ride home from College Station with Aubrie today. Made me so thankful for good friendship. Looking forward to catching up with the rest of the Coppell crew tomorrow!
Vulnerability-- the state of being exposed. When I was younger-- middle school and early high school years-- I was more fearful of letting myself be vulnerable than just about anything else in my life. The fear of putting myself out there and having it shot down or gossiped about, even pitied was incomprehensible. Not worth the risk. Often times emotion grows and festers if left undealt with. Through my high school days and especially this semester I've really learned the benefits of sharing your struggles with others, of opening up about your life. No, I'm not talking about telling everyone everything. But accountability, friendship, and confiding in others is so crucial to our wellbeing as a whole. You'd be shocked by how receptive people are and how your experiences are often times so similar to others.
Vulnerability sparks vulnerability. I can't even tell you the immense response I received to my first blog. Facebook inboxes, e-mails, texts. Everyone struggles. It's nothing to be shameful of. Your experiences and what you learn from them (or don't) can often times be such an encouragement to others, and is also a healing or step to overcoming what you're going through. Learn from others and let them learn from you. Let the friendships God has placed in your life be a blessing to you both.
I'm so thankful for great friendships! I've got my Nana in town, and Reed, Jenna, and my parents close by. Life is good. Enjoy your turkey and a little time off!! I know I will. Happy Thanksgiving :).
PS: No Christmas music or lights until Friday people. Thanksgiving first. Then Christmas. Let's take it one holiday at a time my friends.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
The Little Things
Alright I have so been wanting to get on here and blog again but haven't gotten the chance, it's been a busy week! I am so so ready and excited about Thanksgiving. Family time, sleeping in a big clean bed that doesn't squeak, eating homemade meals, and hanging out with my friends face to face!! (and not on a skyped computer screen!) Goodness I'm excited.
If you've read my previous blogs you know this semester has taught me the true meaning of depending on and trusting the Lord in all situations. I received a huge blessing today-- I was selected to serve on staff of A&M's big service project they hold in the spring, The Big Event. I'll get to go out to many different houses of people A&M will be serving in the spring and really just be the communication tool for them for what they'll need service wise. It's such an incredible organization that I probably wouldn't have gotten involved in if I'd been selected for some of the other organizations I applied for earlier this semester. Big Event Staff will allow me to do something I'm passionate about: service, and get some Business experience while I'm at it!
Seriously the Lord's plan is better than anything I could determine for myself. I was nervous out of my mind opening the letter this morning but I've learned such a valuable lesson this semester: the Lord will take care of me. And trust me, He'll take care of you too. It's awesome.
I traveled more this weekend than I ever have in my life. I went to Waco Thursday to see the wonderful Jillian Edwards perform, home Friday to see the awesome Vivace! show (which was soo fun to sit and enjoy), and to Austin Sunday to see Brian perform in his show! It's been a musical weekend. Exams start for me tomorrow-- ah how the stress has begun. I'm ready to be at home.
Listen to this beauty. It's one of the new songs on Jillian Edwards new album Headfirst. I'm pretty much obsessed. Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy your holiday!! I head home tomorrow night :)
If you've read my previous blogs you know this semester has taught me the true meaning of depending on and trusting the Lord in all situations. I received a huge blessing today-- I was selected to serve on staff of A&M's big service project they hold in the spring, The Big Event. I'll get to go out to many different houses of people A&M will be serving in the spring and really just be the communication tool for them for what they'll need service wise. It's such an incredible organization that I probably wouldn't have gotten involved in if I'd been selected for some of the other organizations I applied for earlier this semester. Big Event Staff will allow me to do something I'm passionate about: service, and get some Business experience while I'm at it!
Seriously the Lord's plan is better than anything I could determine for myself. I was nervous out of my mind opening the letter this morning but I've learned such a valuable lesson this semester: the Lord will take care of me. And trust me, He'll take care of you too. It's awesome.
I traveled more this weekend than I ever have in my life. I went to Waco Thursday to see the wonderful Jillian Edwards perform, home Friday to see the awesome Vivace! show (which was soo fun to sit and enjoy), and to Austin Sunday to see Brian perform in his show! It's been a musical weekend. Exams start for me tomorrow-- ah how the stress has begun. I'm ready to be at home.
Listen to this beauty. It's one of the new songs on Jillian Edwards new album Headfirst. I'm pretty much obsessed. Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy your holiday!! I head home tomorrow night :)
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Seeking the Lost
Okay. So I definitely spilled my heart out in that last blog. Apparently I get pretty reflective late at night. Not going to lie, I woke up the next morning thinking, 'what did I do?!' I just told everyone my biggest struggle this semester... but hey, honesty is healthy, and I really appreciate all the encouragement! People are awesome. #noshame
Alright so I've spent the last two nights in downtown Bryan at a super hipster event called Rock the Republic. There were a ton of different no name artists playing in a bunch of venues, poetry slams, haiku readings, and comedy. Let me tell you-- there are some really artsy people out there, and some really lost artsy people out there as well. Poetry is an outlet for many. It's a way for people to release some of their innermost secrets, and deepest thoughts out to the world in a beautiful form. Some people think poetry is really cheesy. Me? I love it. I love listening to people's artsy insights into life.
I grew up living a very sheltered life. I was taught drinking, sex, and drugs are wrong. Period. I didn't really know the true meaning of poverty until I was in middle school and got off a bus in Memphis, Tennessee on a mission trip to find it right in front of my eyes laying begging in the street. I don't know what it feels like to come home in fear to a drunk father every night or to really feel the pain of a broken home. There is some dark stuff in this world and though my life has willed and blessed me with the grace of avoiding most of it I have such a heart for those it's grabbed a hold of.
There was a specific poet, the last to speak Friday that really spoke to me. He painted a dark and twisted picture of depression as he cried out of the nights and brokenness that rang true in the speaker's life. He went on to poetically describe the overwhelming weight of the darkness that overcomes one caught up in depression. It got me thinking, who is reaching out to this speaker? Which Christian is bringing the gospel-- the life-saving, life-altering grace into his life?
We stay in our bubble much too often, choosing to see what only we want to see, but boy is there darkness out there--in so many forms-- that need to be reached. There was a comedian that I heard tonight that was just downright smashing the name of Jesus right up there in the mic in front of several dozen people. Real, legit anger welled up inside me as he spoke and compared Him to earthly lows. The comedian mentioned he used to be a youth pastor and thought it was hilarious when he ran into some of his old youth drunk and "living it up" at parties. It made me think, what could have possibly driven him so far away? Obviously he didn't know the real Jesus. Who is reaching that guy? Which one of us Christians is going to show him the life-altering grace and joy our Savior has to offer?
At Breakaway this week Matt Carter, pastor of Austin Stone church in Austin spoke about what it means to "love our neighbor" as we're called to do in Matthew 22, right after we're called to love our Lord with all we have. What does it mean to love our neighbor? Who exactly is our neighbor? Matt defined our neighbor as the lost, and loving, really loving them is sharing the gospel with them-- sharing the one who died for us, the one we live for with them. Twice now this week I've heard the statistic: Out of the recently exceeding 7 billion people in the world 6.4 billion have NOT heard the gospel. 6.4 billion. 'Missions' can and should be where you are. There's always a life nearby that needs saving, even if they aren't crying out their pain through poetry. Will you be the one to change that? It's what we're called to do.
That's just a bit of conviction that's been on my heart this weekend. I really promise I'm not this deep all the time, but I just can't help it, it's definitely a big part of me. It must be the blogging late at night thing. Next time I'll blog during the day and we'll see if it turns out any different.
Song of the day that I'm obsessed with: The Earth is Yours by Gungor
Goodnight world wide web!
Alright so I've spent the last two nights in downtown Bryan at a super hipster event called Rock the Republic. There were a ton of different no name artists playing in a bunch of venues, poetry slams, haiku readings, and comedy. Let me tell you-- there are some really artsy people out there, and some really lost artsy people out there as well. Poetry is an outlet for many. It's a way for people to release some of their innermost secrets, and deepest thoughts out to the world in a beautiful form. Some people think poetry is really cheesy. Me? I love it. I love listening to people's artsy insights into life.
I grew up living a very sheltered life. I was taught drinking, sex, and drugs are wrong. Period. I didn't really know the true meaning of poverty until I was in middle school and got off a bus in Memphis, Tennessee on a mission trip to find it right in front of my eyes laying begging in the street. I don't know what it feels like to come home in fear to a drunk father every night or to really feel the pain of a broken home. There is some dark stuff in this world and though my life has willed and blessed me with the grace of avoiding most of it I have such a heart for those it's grabbed a hold of.
There was a specific poet, the last to speak Friday that really spoke to me. He painted a dark and twisted picture of depression as he cried out of the nights and brokenness that rang true in the speaker's life. He went on to poetically describe the overwhelming weight of the darkness that overcomes one caught up in depression. It got me thinking, who is reaching out to this speaker? Which Christian is bringing the gospel-- the life-saving, life-altering grace into his life?
We stay in our bubble much too often, choosing to see what only we want to see, but boy is there darkness out there--in so many forms-- that need to be reached. There was a comedian that I heard tonight that was just downright smashing the name of Jesus right up there in the mic in front of several dozen people. Real, legit anger welled up inside me as he spoke and compared Him to earthly lows. The comedian mentioned he used to be a youth pastor and thought it was hilarious when he ran into some of his old youth drunk and "living it up" at parties. It made me think, what could have possibly driven him so far away? Obviously he didn't know the real Jesus. Who is reaching that guy? Which one of us Christians is going to show him the life-altering grace and joy our Savior has to offer?
At Breakaway this week Matt Carter, pastor of Austin Stone church in Austin spoke about what it means to "love our neighbor" as we're called to do in Matthew 22, right after we're called to love our Lord with all we have. What does it mean to love our neighbor? Who exactly is our neighbor? Matt defined our neighbor as the lost, and loving, really loving them is sharing the gospel with them-- sharing the one who died for us, the one we live for with them. Twice now this week I've heard the statistic: Out of the recently exceeding 7 billion people in the world 6.4 billion have NOT heard the gospel. 6.4 billion. 'Missions' can and should be where you are. There's always a life nearby that needs saving, even if they aren't crying out their pain through poetry. Will you be the one to change that? It's what we're called to do.
That's just a bit of conviction that's been on my heart this weekend. I really promise I'm not this deep all the time, but I just can't help it, it's definitely a big part of me. It must be the blogging late at night thing. Next time I'll blog during the day and we'll see if it turns out any different.
Song of the day that I'm obsessed with: The Earth is Yours by Gungor
Goodnight world wide web!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Seeking Fulfillment
Thoughts. I have a lot of them. Life goes at a crazy fast pace and I need an outlet to process my daily life. So here I am. And obviously here you are as well as you're reading these words.
This week has been absolutely incredible. Did you know there's a God out there that loves you. Love. What does that really mean? How would you define it? God is love, true love, not the earthly kind we toss around casually on a daily basis. God is love. Comprehend that for a second.
Let me catch you up on the last few months of my life. I graduated high school Captain of the show choir and Salutatorian of my class back in June. Now? No one cares about high school. It's in the past. I'm a fish at A&M and let me tell you, it's a big sea here. There are 49,861 students here in Aggieland, and take my word for it, that's a lot. Enough to get lost and disappear in with ease.
This semester I had my life planned before I even set foot on campus. I would be in a FLO (freshman leadership organization), attend the Gilbert Leadership Conference and teach Sunday School at a local church. It's how I would get plugged in, make awesome friends, have a blast. Boy was I wrong. God shut every single one of those doors and I was left in my dorm room, feeling overwhelmed and lost in the crowd. Sitting in classes of 400 people listening to a prof who doesn't know your name or face, walking in a crowd of people moving a million directions; you're just a face moving down the street for a second, and then you're out of sight as motion continues.
Many Friday nights this semester I've sat right where I'm sitting now-- in my bed. Watching shows on my laptop, scrolling through Facebook, sitting in isolation. Not involved in a group I wasn't making new friends, I didn't have planned group activities where I got to know people and 'network' around the student body. Depressing? Yes it definitely feels like it sometimes. Lame? That's how I felt if someone had known. But boy was it a blessing. A real true blessing.
In high school I took such pride in my singing and dancing show choir talents, in my ability to lead the group, and in my reputation as a leader in my youth group. This semester I've had no where to put my confidence, no where to place my identity, but Christ. He is where my confidence should and now comes from. Christ is my identity. I am Nicole Bartley, child of God. How beautiful is that? I, you, we are children of God.
This week I've been knocked to my knees in adoration of my King. When I let go of my own will and make God's will my own, that is where I will find my delight. This week I have found more delight in the Lord than I have in my entire life. When you seek Him, and His will for your life, real, true blessings are poured out. Everything I thought I needed, everything I wanted, are nothing in comparison to God's plan for my life. This week He blessed me with deciding on an amazing church home: Grace Southwood, an amazing, joyful, Godly girl to fellowship with and confide in, an amazing bible study group to stop and enjoy life with, a beautiful 8 year old girl Aaliyah I get to mentor and share the gospel with this semester, and an amazing major-- Business-- that initially I resisted and avoided with everything I had.
On top of all these blessings I feel abundantly in my life right now God brought Shane and Shane and the Go Now Missions Conference to College Station this week. So. Amazing. Worshiping Wednesday night at Grace Anderson alongside the Shanes I couldn't help but overflow with joy. Listen to these guys: Psalm 13. Blew me out of the water. Such Godly men with a passion for worshipping our King.
I want to encourage you with this verse:
"The Lord is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?" --Psalm 27:1
He will provide for you, and it will be amazing. Pray for His will to be done, so that you may join in on His plan and through prayer gain peace in the Lord's plan and His timing. It's amazing. Truly amazing.
Now that it's 4 in the morning I'll close by saying: They won't always be this long. I just had to catch you up a bit on the past few months of my semester! Yay for writing. Goodnight world wide web.
This week has been absolutely incredible. Did you know there's a God out there that loves you. Love. What does that really mean? How would you define it? God is love, true love, not the earthly kind we toss around casually on a daily basis. God is love. Comprehend that for a second.
Let me catch you up on the last few months of my life. I graduated high school Captain of the show choir and Salutatorian of my class back in June. Now? No one cares about high school. It's in the past. I'm a fish at A&M and let me tell you, it's a big sea here. There are 49,861 students here in Aggieland, and take my word for it, that's a lot. Enough to get lost and disappear in with ease.
This semester I had my life planned before I even set foot on campus. I would be in a FLO (freshman leadership organization), attend the Gilbert Leadership Conference and teach Sunday School at a local church. It's how I would get plugged in, make awesome friends, have a blast. Boy was I wrong. God shut every single one of those doors and I was left in my dorm room, feeling overwhelmed and lost in the crowd. Sitting in classes of 400 people listening to a prof who doesn't know your name or face, walking in a crowd of people moving a million directions; you're just a face moving down the street for a second, and then you're out of sight as motion continues.
Many Friday nights this semester I've sat right where I'm sitting now-- in my bed. Watching shows on my laptop, scrolling through Facebook, sitting in isolation. Not involved in a group I wasn't making new friends, I didn't have planned group activities where I got to know people and 'network' around the student body. Depressing? Yes it definitely feels like it sometimes. Lame? That's how I felt if someone had known. But boy was it a blessing. A real true blessing.
In high school I took such pride in my singing and dancing show choir talents, in my ability to lead the group, and in my reputation as a leader in my youth group. This semester I've had no where to put my confidence, no where to place my identity, but Christ. He is where my confidence should and now comes from. Christ is my identity. I am Nicole Bartley, child of God. How beautiful is that? I, you, we are children of God.
This week I've been knocked to my knees in adoration of my King. When I let go of my own will and make God's will my own, that is where I will find my delight. This week I have found more delight in the Lord than I have in my entire life. When you seek Him, and His will for your life, real, true blessings are poured out. Everything I thought I needed, everything I wanted, are nothing in comparison to God's plan for my life. This week He blessed me with deciding on an amazing church home: Grace Southwood, an amazing, joyful, Godly girl to fellowship with and confide in, an amazing bible study group to stop and enjoy life with, a beautiful 8 year old girl Aaliyah I get to mentor and share the gospel with this semester, and an amazing major-- Business-- that initially I resisted and avoided with everything I had.
On top of all these blessings I feel abundantly in my life right now God brought Shane and Shane and the Go Now Missions Conference to College Station this week. So. Amazing. Worshiping Wednesday night at Grace Anderson alongside the Shanes I couldn't help but overflow with joy. Listen to these guys: Psalm 13. Blew me out of the water. Such Godly men with a passion for worshipping our King.
I want to encourage you with this verse:
"The Lord is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?" --Psalm 27:1
He will provide for you, and it will be amazing. Pray for His will to be done, so that you may join in on His plan and through prayer gain peace in the Lord's plan and His timing. It's amazing. Truly amazing.
Now that it's 4 in the morning I'll close by saying: They won't always be this long. I just had to catch you up a bit on the past few months of my semester! Yay for writing. Goodnight world wide web.
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